


This Year

by thesalukihusker



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesalukihusker/pseuds/thesalukihusker
Summary: Jonathan reflects on a difficult past year.
Relationships: Jancy - Relationship, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	This Year

**Author's Note:**

> Jonathan reflects on everything that's happened over the past year. Together, he and Nancy celebrate new beginnings. As always, I don't own Jancy, I just ship them.

_ All I want for Christmas is my - _

Jonathan flips the car radio off, not wanting to hear for what seems like the hundredth time about the kid who wants his teeth for Christmas.  _ What a stupid song,  _ he thinks, rubbing his eyes.

It's mid-December, and Jonathan should be on his way home from work. But he felt like taking a drive to his favorite spot - a secluded area overlooking the lake. He spends a lot of time here - taking photos, mostly. But it's also where he goes to think. To clear his head, to spend some time alone.  _ You spend too much time alone, _ Joyce has told him more than once. 

But tonight, it's what he needs the most.

He should be grateful for Will being home, for his mom smiling again. Will's hospital stay wasn't as long this year. They saved him, twice, and the Byers family lives to celebrate another Christmas together. And Nancy is part of it this year, too.

But Jonathan can't help but feel overwhelmed. Angry at the people who've brought so much chaos to their lives. Sad that his family has to struggle with everything that's happened, in case they didn't have enough to deal with already. Afraid that the danger isn't over for them.

And he can't help but feel that, after almost a year of pining after Nancy, that he doesn't deserve her. Doesn't deserve the happiness.

_ Merry Christmas! Happy holidays!,  _ the store windows proclaim. 

Jonathan leans his driver's seat back and closes his eyes. He's always so tired.  _ Where's your Christmas spirit?,  _ Joyce asked him this morning.

_ Hopefully, I'll find it soon,  _ he thinks.

Jonathan takes a notebook and a pen out of his bag. He turns to a blank page near the end, and starts to write.

###

Last week, Jonathan found himself without an answer when Joyce asked him what he wanted for Christmas.

With everything else going on, he hadn't given it much thought. Jonathan's been busy taking care of Will, and trying to get caught up at school. Nancy's been a big help with that, getting notes and study guides to him. Jonathan hasn't seen as much of her over the past month as he hoped he would. He stops himself from calling her five times a day to ask if she'll come over.

He came up with some ideas for Joyce. New headphones, maybe, or accessories for his camera. He could use a new pair of sneakers.  _ You don't have to get me anything, _ he tells Nancy, but Jonathan knows that she will. He has no idea what to get for  _ his girlfriend _ . 

Nancy helped Jonathan decorate the tree last weekend. After Will returned home last year, Joyce made ornaments with their names on them. Joyce, Jonathan and Will, the Byers family, represented by three gingerbread men on the tree. This year, Nancy's name is on a gingerbread girl next to Jonathan's ornament.  _ She's part of the family _ . Jonathan wonders if it's too soon to start thinking about their relationship long-term. 

Jonathan picks up the phone, dials the number that goes directly to her room. Her voice makes him happy. Her touch makes him feel alive. She's been the light in his darkness for a long time now.

"Hello?"

###

Christmas shopping feels like  _ one more thing _ on top of all the other things Jonathan is balancing. He and Will spend a Saturday in Indianapolis, checking out the thrift shops and record stores. 

He finds Nancy's present at a bookstore. It's a journal, the cover repurposed from an old novel. The inside now holds handmade paper, off-white, unique in its shape and texture. There isn't another one like it.

It's  _ perfect. _

Nancy is always writing, be it papers, or poems, or short stories. She's never without a notebook. Jonathan knows she's a talented writer, that she wants to make a career of it. 

He wonders if she kept a diary like other girls did, to house her hopes and dreams and heartbreak. He wonders if he appears in any of the writings in the journal she keeps now.

Maybe this one will tell the story of them.

###

Nancy joins them for dinner on Christmas Eve.

The rest of the Wheeler family is out of town, and Jonathan assumed he'd see Nancy on the 26th when they returned. She didn't want to go, and to her surprise, Nancy's parents told her  _ be safe, keep the doors locked, don't drive on the ice.  _

It was five weeks ago that Jonathan threw all caution to the wind and kissed Nancy for the first time. The wall he'd kept up for so long began falling down that night. But long before then, Nancy had started putting cracks in it. The first was when she talked to him that day in the hallway. Next, when they argued in the woods. More when they cut their palms together. It was about a year ago at this time when light began to pour in through those cracks. When she kissed him on the cheek, her hand over his heart. 

The morning after their night together, the wall broke open. 

Love and affection were new and scary feelings. It's not easy to tell someone all of those secrets that your heart has kept tucked away. 

Nancy's stunned by the gift. She thumbs through the new journal slowly, taking it in, wondering where Jonathan found such a beautiful book. Behind the last page is a folded piece of notebook paper.

_ Nancy, _

_ You told me that writing it all down could help me make sense of everything I was feeling. And what I found when I started doing that was that it became about me making sense of my feelings for you. I saw this journal and thought of you, of all the times I've watched you lost in thought, writing down the things in your heart. I hope there's a part of me in there. _

_ All my love, _

_ Jonathan _

###

Jonathan finds Nancy later that night lost in thought again, pen in hand, writing the first entry in her new journal. When she's done, Nancy closes her eyes and sits quietly for a moment. There's a small smile on her face.

"It's about you."

He's part of her story now, too.


End file.
